song: make it real u-turn

mood: no apettite... i'm in the state of nothingness...

In a dream you are hereyou smile and hold me near and in my heart i'll pretend that you are here again hear me cryin' out to youyou said, "never, never would i leave "here's a tear from me to you and maybe it will make you hear me



hai, i'm very tired today.... i'm still going to make my business letter.... mom celebrated her bday last saturday.... TONG YANG escapades na ito!!! ^_^... i'm so full!!! unlimitted drinks, sefood, meat, ICE CREAM halo halo... hai... i can live in that restaurant forver!!!


so i talked to dean the other day... by gosh by golly! he knows about... you know who... *dean... mamang pasaway.... walang laglagan kay... T_T....* after he freeked me out the other day.... i d ecided to kill dean the next time we meet... neh??? ^_^....miss yah honey!!!^_^ *woshooo!!! yeekie dean... ^_^*


hmm... i really can't focus today.... i find it hard to breath lately...i can't sleep.. i lost my apettite for the past few days.. *well except for saturday, that was a miracle..*, and everything is sooooooooooo... i dunno... empty??? *empty spaces, are empty sapaces...* T_T.... hai....*labo..*


lui texted me again... he told me "tin wag ka munang magpapaligaw at baka masaktan ka ng mga yan... miss you" <------like what the hell??? so okay, after i've knocked some sense in his uhm... "brain"... he still managed to remember what i did to him... i want to kill lui for the second time, and this time... i'm gonna finish the job... oh.. together with anton.... >_<... magsama kayo... mga walang magawa sa buhay...! anyway.. yipeeeee!!! i'm currently negotiating my "archery" training this summer.... ooooh! this is gonna be fun! well, i think i'm gonna see him again...^_^.... from beda, sabay kami puputa ng cubao... that would be wicked!!!^_^ yipee!!! i'm so excited to finally hold a bow and an arrow... hmm... what else??? "first time is saw you, you look wonderful... i've never seen you look so fine..." hai...wan't to tell him this... ^_^ ahihihihihi.. they are having their grad practices... ^_^ ohohohoho... goodluck chong!!! knowing you batang puyatin ka eh... ^_^... ahihihihihi... even hired katherine to know who i am... yeah right mehn!!!^_^.... bitayin kita ng patiwarik jan eh... ^_^ hmmm....


random thoughts... well... aside what happend the past month... i'm so depressed... my avergae is far from scholarship... way far.... i'm too emotionally disturbed to study.... aw.... goodbye scholarship... hello looser.... i really don't know what to do.. it seems that everything i do is connected to him.. always... i can't sleep, can't study well... i might as well die..... i feel like i'm to girly to function... argh... i hate this... it seems that ireallly don't know what to feel for him..

whether i should be angry for letting him spill the beans in my life... which is a major pain because i told him everything....

whether i should feel pity for him

wheather i should be happy for him

whether i should be guilty

whether i should be lonely...

i dunno.... i want to start crying and crying again... i hear "lunes" by sponge cola... it reminds me of ateneo hs.. the times i studied physics and algebra together with cp, nino, mok, dondee, ib, erika, king, and gelo.... ohohohohoho... fun times... ^_^.... and whenever i would meet up with mommy kat i remembered one time when daddy dondee, gelo, mommy and me would debate whether "boys are RAPED".... crimeney... ^_^... ang tagal nun ah??? ^_^... miss ko na si mommy at daddy at gelo at cheska at prix at mama dei... oh!!!!^_^...

hmmm... what else?? i can't fina an article for health services... crimeney, looks like i'm gonna cram this one out... ajaness!!! argh....plus i'm going to report for fil.... badjaperz talaga oh???


hai... nobody is interested to read my blog.... lola na ata kasi ito.... oh!!! that reminds me, i made a new one and the address is http://www.******08.blogspot.com ,------for the people who wants to know the real url, text me... my number in 0920******* thanks!!! ^_^ ahihihihihi.. no kid... i have a new blog.... ^_^.... and it's for my uper duper super mega over wonderlistic friendships... for those interested...i'm just one call away...


anyhoo... enough about the hibijibies.... ^_^.... nakakasawa na talaga...^_^.... anyway.. i want to sleep for a change... feeling ko i've greatly sinned that's why he won't let me sleep... papa God, maxiado na ba ako lunok sa tongits lalu na pag kalaban si papa??? or si myles??? T_T huhuhuuhu....



hai............ i donno what to feel.... i think therefore i'm single! jowke.. i think this is what you call numbness..... nothing to feel..... just that big sting right there...




i was sitting near the window of the coffee shop. a man drenched in rain was standing still. cold and alone. i kept on staring at his back. i thought that his back was familiar. the man turned back. to my surprise, there he stood. crying. i immediately went outside and gave him the newspaper that i was reading to shelter him from the rain. he immediately hugged me... he roughly whispered in my ears... "it's done.... it's over..." i was so surprised. my world spined.... round and round.. immidate flashbacks came into me... i felt the cold... i felt his bitterness...i felt his loneliness... the rain just witnessed how my heart stopped and think that for once.. benevolence and selfishness can be at parr..... at the right time... or is it???